| Wednesday, March 28, 2007 |
| Cupcake wishes |
Being a mom has added a whole new dimension to my life. Before I got married, I was a middle school teacher. I fine-tuned the skill of keeping several steps ahead of my students. I prided myself on my ability to foresee potential problems in almost every situation. Sometimes I wish I were more oblivious. Like the 8th grade teacher down the hall. She was a slim, large-chested, bottle blonde who wore see-through blouses and an infamous cashmere sweater body-hugging mini-dress to parent-teacher conferences. Oh to live the life of a cupcake.
But no. I can see trouble before it happens and, if I'm canny enough, head it off at the pass. Fast-forward to married life. "Sure, sweetheart, I think it'd be a swell idea to spend a whole shload of money refinishing the attic for a master bedroom suite. What's that? The stairs should be the pull-down-from-the-ceiling variety? Sounds just ducky." See? If I were a cupcake, I could just giggle and coo at my husband with his clever hide-the-stairs-in-the-ceiling scheme. I'd squeeze his abundant biceps and sit back in amazement as he orchestrated the turning of our house into a treefort. Instead, I come up with, "Just how do you expect me to carry a newborn up and down stairs that pull down from the ceiling?" Way too practical.
Fast-forward again to motherhood. My troubleshooting talent has turned into a hyper-driven speed addict. Now, I troubleshoot situations overwhich I have no control. Here's a "for instance". We live on an island. There are two practical ways off the island: sea and air. Frequently we take the car ferry. A few months ago, a ferry up island pulled away from the dock as the cars were still loading. Yeah. One truck plunged over the edge. The driver was able to escape and was fine. My reaction? When we pull onto the ferry now, I sit in the back with the Hippo, unbuckle and remove his arms from the child seat and place my hands under his arms, ready to shove him into the Baby Bjorn carrier I have strapped to the front of my body just in case our ferry pulls away as we are driving on.
I have also had to limit my news consumption. All the horrid happenings in the world have become way too vivid - I find myself imagining just what I would do if something happened to my child. In my mind, I've kicked the asses of random bad guys a thousand times for even breathing wrong on my baby.
We're flying across the country on Sunday. Don't even get me started. It's after midnight and I can't sleep. This has been the case for the past few nights. By Saturday I'm going to require sedatives.Labels: worrying |
posted by Mama K @ 12:09 AM  |
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